Church

So, any consistent church goer knows that attending with your children can turn a potentially spiritual, uplifting, energizing activity into an exhausting experience. We've had a few of these exhausting times lately, and while I worry that we're ruining church for the rest of the congregation, they do make me laugh. (It's either laugh or cry, right?)

A few weeks ago Mckay took Sam and Carter to the bathroom out during Sacrament meeting. A few minutes later I heard a loud bang and laughing at the back of the chapel. I turned to see what the commotion was, but didn't see anything. Two seconds later my two boys came sprinting down the aisle. About halfway to our pew Carter tripped and fell on his face, which threw Sam into a giggle fit. A second or two later Mckay came speed-walking down the aisle behind them.

I shoved both boys into the pew and threatened them in their life, ,and then turned to face a red-faced husband. "I'm sorry, they got away!" he gasped. Apparently they sprinted out of the bathroom with Mckay following behind them yelling, "Don't you dare go in there," as they busted into the chapel at top speed, laughing at their winded father.

It's okay, people expect that from us now.

Yesterday Sam had a hard time in church. It started when I took him out to got potty and he wanted to use a tree, not the toilet. I ended up dragging him to the bathroom while he yelled, "But I want to pee on a tree!." He sobbed while relieving himself, and continued to cry outside the chapel while I waited to go back in.

Fortunately, I looked down the hallway and saw Moses walking toward us. A gentleman was roaming the halls in a full Old Testament get-up: beard, head piece, robes, staff, leather sandals, the whole works. Sam quit crying instantly.

"Moses" saw the effect he had on my crying son, approached us, and told my silent child that it was time to be reverent in church. Sam began whimpering again and "Moses" walked away. Sam hushed down and asked me where he was going. "To make sure all the kids are being reverant," I replied. We didn't have a single problem with Sam after that. Now all I have to do is dredge up "Moses" and hopefully we'll get a few good months of reverence out of the experience.